- Thread starter Matilda
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What is it with North Americans (and a few others)
No, "GOOD DEED" Goes UnPunished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's "Human Nature",PLUS "Culture" that you are complaining about!
Don't bother!
To "Single Out" Noth Americans is a bit naive! It's PEOPLE who are standing you up, NOT Geographical Areas!
Cris Colon
You should try Thailand! If they never show up,it's "OK" there!
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And Dominicans are "BETTER"??????????????????????
It's "Human Nature",PLUS "Culture" that you are complaining about!
Don't bother!
To "Single Out" Noth Americans is a bit naive! It's PEOPLE who are standing you up, NOT Geographical Areas!
Cris Colon
You should try Thailand! If they never show up,it's "OK" there!
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And Dominicans are "BETTER"??????????????????????
Of course, that's correct, but knowing Matilda as we do, we know it wasn't said in that way.
More like an observation with no hidden agendas.
I get it too here.
Can't believe how many folks take advantage and make me feel like a fool for helping.
Had a guy call me yesterday for a room and as I'm full, I offered to get him into another similar hotel at a discount.
Then he came by here in the evening complaining it wasn't fancy enough.
Well, considering that he told me that it was just for one night, and he's looking for a room here, and Lord knows that we ain't fancy, what did he expect at that price?
So why did I even bother?
He acted like I did him a disservice, after I got him into a $38 hotel for $25.
And this isn't an isolated case.
Stupid stuff like this happens all the time.
It makes you want to stop helping people.
And really, that's what Matilda's complaint is all about.
A bit of respect would be nice.
That's not asking for much, is it?
I noticed people tend to have selective memory and remember only things that are convenient for them. They might be making lots of plans before going on vacation and then everything changes. I would be just making those appointments at times convenient for my own life style and not rely on anyone to keep their word to actually show up. And if there is something else I have to do - I would just do it and forget about the appointment, that is all. Dominicans and others behave this way, so can we.
I tend to agree with some of the posters - I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise (figure of speach - I am not a hairy woman LOL) when I saw the generalization of "North Americans".
Like Rocky said, though, the people that know Matilda ( which I have never had the pleasure to meet but being good friends with Grahame,Ginnie & Marco - she must be a fine person
) know what she is saying here and how she is saying it. Another fine example of how the written word can be taken out of text.
Anyway, I feel bad that good people are being taken advantage of, and will perhaps stop helping because of the bad apples amongst us. It would be a shame for those people who are actually serious and would appreciate the help to miss out.
I know Matilda probably does not want suggestions on how to handle these situations but I will throw one out there anyway. :cheeky:
When a person contacts you for help, say "I am a very busy person, but contact me when it is convienent for you and I will see if it is convienent for me" "I will not be meeting you at such and such, if you want to show good faith and that you are serious, please come to my establishment where we can meet in person and we can set up a time that is workable for both of us". "If this is not suitable for you, perhaps you could find someone else as knowledgable and helpful that could guide you".
I would think that that would weed out the less courteous, and bring on the people who are actually serious about gaining information. It would give you the opportunity to meet face to face, give them a somewhat neutral place to meet you since it is an establishment that you would be meeeting them at where they may feel less threatened (for lack of a better word). Best of it - this would provide you with control of your time and judgement.
Marlie
Like Rocky said, though, the people that know Matilda ( which I have never had the pleasure to meet but being good friends with Grahame,Ginnie & Marco - she must be a fine person
) know what she is saying here and how she is saying it. Another fine example of how the written word can be taken out of text.Anyway, I feel bad that good people are being taken advantage of, and will perhaps stop helping because of the bad apples amongst us. It would be a shame for those people who are actually serious and would appreciate the help to miss out.
I know Matilda probably does not want suggestions on how to handle these situations but I will throw one out there anyway. :cheeky:
When a person contacts you for help, say "I am a very busy person, but contact me when it is convienent for you and I will see if it is convienent for me" "I will not be meeting you at such and such, if you want to show good faith and that you are serious, please come to my establishment where we can meet in person and we can set up a time that is workable for both of us". "If this is not suitable for you, perhaps you could find someone else as knowledgable and helpful that could guide you".
I would think that that would weed out the less courteous, and bring on the people who are actually serious about gaining information. It would give you the opportunity to meet face to face, give them a somewhat neutral place to meet you since it is an establishment that you would be meeeting them at where they may feel less threatened (for lack of a better word). Best of it - this would provide you with control of your time and judgement.
Marlie
In the business world I work in it is unheard off. Late maybe. But to not show up or call is just plain rude. I have cancled a tanning session or hair cut but always try to call in advance. I agree that this may be an age thing or maybe they are just suspicous people.
That is quite simply appalling conduct. Even if he didn't like the place he should have had the sense to keep his mouth shut, quit whinging & thank you for your help. Always remember that you don't need people like this, they need you.
Same goes for the people contacting Matilda, you, me or anyone else who offers to sit & chat about living here. They should remember that they feel they need the help of the person concerned otherwise they wouldn't be asking.
I think I must be improving at screening out the 'undesirables'. Obviously I did a good job with 'mikehunt' :laugh::laugh: This week I gave up two of my mornings to help two different people & both were charming. Yesterday BB & I spent three hours with an elderly gentleman who got in touch not through DR1. We had exchanged emails & the type of questions he asked led me to believe I would want to meet him. Those were less about the 'me' and more about the country, politics, wealth distribution, history etc etc. Very few about 'how do I do this?' And meeting him was a real pleasure, he wants to get involved in helping out down here - we made suggestions & by the very next day he was contacting the charities we suggested. Now that's a good use of my time & that's also a person I would go out of my way to help when he moves here.
So 'helpers', scrutinise those emails you get because they are full of clues as to the sort of person requesting your help.
Failing that (she says with an evil chortle) perhaps I should design a little 'test' of a psychological nature ?................... :laugh::laugh:
The Golden Rule
That doesn't really make it right either...that would make you just as bad as the rude, inconsiderate people that come looking for help in the first place.
It is not right....it seems more & more that people demand respect but fail to show simple respect to others.
The sad part is that when people like Matilda, Rocky & others give their time, share their experiences & try to make a difference to someone else, they are getting a slap in the face when it is not appreciated.
Should they become hard & rude & stop caring...NO....that is what separates them from the rest.
Sangria
That doesn't really make it right either...that would make you just as bad as the rude, inconsiderate people that come looking for help in the first place.
It is not right....it seems more & more that people demand respect but fail to show simple respect to others.
The sad part is that when people like Matilda, Rocky & others give their time, share their experiences & try to make a difference to someone else, they are getting a slap in the face when it is not appreciated.
Should they become hard & rude & stop caring...NO....that is what separates them from the rest.
Sangria
You are right in some way. But I have learned quite a few lessons already: if you expect less from people - then you get much less disappointed with their behavior and discouraged to help others in the future. And if they actually do what they said they were going to do - well, that is quite an achievement
That is what I do. Offer to meet them in the colmado (just in case axe wielding mad men), but 9 times out of 10 they don't show up. To be fair the odd one (you know who you are!!!) has sent an email which I find on my return to house, but most you never hear from again.
I hope your hairs have gone back to normal. I don't mean to have a 'go' at North Americans but to be honest I find they are the worst offenders. Sorry and I have loads of friends who are fab from Canada and the States, but that is just the way it is.
J
John Evans
Guest
...may I ask for your indepth analysis of me please Lambipoos.... which pile of expats would you put me in ....am I beyond help.. or is lemon tea still available with errrr nibbles
You need to learn to quote the text of the post you're replying to.
It's way too confusing for us who are not mind readers.
A
apostropheman
Guest
I think 'Lambipoos' means me
and the post is mildly amusing if you saw his PM to me but since no-one else did I'm not surprised that it leaves everyone else non-plussed..........plus, John Evans, this thread is about what Matilda wants it to be about & notso you may ask for a Lambipoos character assassination but you won't be getting one.
At least, not from me.
J
John Evans
Guest
sorry i was trying to be amusing it didnt work again.,,,im going back to not posting again....goodbye