Now that's one for the books! I agree :laugh:
Surely it is not worth it!
DV8, can we look forward to any more of your trials and tribulations in the DR on this thread? Let me know by pm and I'll open it again.
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- Thread starter dv8
- Start date
cedula, now you see it , now you don't
Now that's one for the books! I agree :laugh:
Surely it is not worth it!
DV8, can we look forward to any more of your trials and tribulations in the DR on this thread? Let me know by pm and I'll open it again.
dv8's trip to migracion - for the befefit of the dr1.com nations
friends and foes,
this thread would not be complete without a story of my first trip to migracion for a medical check-up. i can recall that day as if it was yesterday - first visit to la cuchara de madera has made an imprint in my memory...
anyways, metro, abogado, migracion. no disappointment here, nice official building overlook the sea. inside no queuing, straight to the doctors cabinet.
( a bit of brit bashing - as requested - what a difference in comparison to british home office that not only is located in bloody croydon there dogs bark with their arses but also requires queuing for 8 hours straight including 4 hours outside IN ENGLISH WEATHER :tired: ; now i am sure that anyone who has ever experience english weather would agree with that england hardly has any right to exist).
so doctor asked me plenty of question, not surprisingly in spanish getting me so confused i finally had to take a questionnaire from her to look up possible answers that may give me the clue to what the actual questions are. having fulfilled this task i was send away (yes, with a small sheet of paper, paper must be the only thing in abundance in DR) to a tiny smiling nurse who immediately shot at me a series of spanish sentences. luckily that was a girly stuff (nice bag don't put int on the floor it brings bad luck i like your skirt where did you buy it your hair is beautiful - no pause for a breath i was starting to feel like inside "finnegans wake" and got worried she may pass out before taking my blood test) so i could understand.
still talking the nurs stabbed my arm with a needle, the procedure itself not as painful as waking up the next day with a bruise size of a coconut and pain that made me carry my arm in napoleonic fashion for days after :ermm: . after impalement came the time for the urine sample.
urine sample... the act so simple and so natural but made into a difficult task by the DR government that will not accept a woman with poor aiming skills as it's resident by a simple yet ingenious choice of a sample container with a VERY small opening. now, i may not be that good in an anatomy of a male genitals but men seem to have little problem peeing into bottles (ask them to pee without spilling on a toilet seat and they always fail - wonders of nature) but about pussies i know, they are not made to direct the golden stream into a target side of a five-peso coin (my friends grandma has won village contest for peeing at a long distance so women are not THAT bad at water sports... :bunny: ).
good thing migracion has water in their loos (being a government building ) but there is no soap (being a DR government building). but they had toilet paper which gives them overall positive score.
next stop - hospital with x-ray. dominicans are such space-savers, the waiting room was no bigger that hugh hefren limousine with two smiling girls (of course in HH car there would be more girls and less desks) directing people to big dark room with a male moustached assistant (little disconcerting when you are a woman and you remember that you have to get half-naked for the procedure; males of course do not mind showing off their buddha tummies left right and centre but the weaker sex is much more sensitive...). i was relieved to find out a loose flowery apron one must put on for an x-ray, nice human touch in this cold hospital environment....
the rest of my trip to SD was all pleasure, chirimoyas and cheesecakes - that sums it up.
please, stick to the subject (migracion adventures) and do not make it personal, anyone complaining about my complains - pm me.
friends and foes,
this thread would not be complete without a story of my first trip to migracion for a medical check-up. i can recall that day as if it was yesterday - first visit to la cuchara de madera has made an imprint in my memory...
anyways, metro, abogado, migracion. no disappointment here, nice official building overlook the sea. inside no queuing, straight to the doctors cabinet.
( a bit of brit bashing - as requested - what a difference in comparison to british home office that not only is located in bloody croydon there dogs bark with their arses but also requires queuing for 8 hours straight including 4 hours outside IN ENGLISH WEATHER :tired: ; now i am sure that anyone who has ever experience english weather would agree with that england hardly has any right to exist).
so doctor asked me plenty of question, not surprisingly in spanish getting me so confused i finally had to take a questionnaire from her to look up possible answers that may give me the clue to what the actual questions are. having fulfilled this task i was send away (yes, with a small sheet of paper, paper must be the only thing in abundance in DR) to a tiny smiling nurse who immediately shot at me a series of spanish sentences. luckily that was a girly stuff (nice bag don't put int on the floor it brings bad luck i like your skirt where did you buy it your hair is beautiful - no pause for a breath i was starting to feel like inside "finnegans wake" and got worried she may pass out before taking my blood test) so i could understand.
still talking the nurs stabbed my arm with a needle, the procedure itself not as painful as waking up the next day with a bruise size of a coconut and pain that made me carry my arm in napoleonic fashion for days after :ermm: . after impalement came the time for the urine sample.
urine sample... the act so simple and so natural but made into a difficult task by the DR government that will not accept a woman with poor aiming skills as it's resident by a simple yet ingenious choice of a sample container with a VERY small opening. now, i may not be that good in an anatomy of a male genitals but men seem to have little problem peeing into bottles (ask them to pee without spilling on a toilet seat and they always fail - wonders of nature) but about pussies i know, they are not made to direct the golden stream into a target side of a five-peso coin (my friends grandma has won village contest for peeing at a long distance so women are not THAT bad at water sports... :bunny: ).
good thing migracion has water in their loos (being a government building ) but there is no soap (being a DR government building). but they had toilet paper which gives them overall positive score.
next stop - hospital with x-ray. dominicans are such space-savers, the waiting room was no bigger that hugh hefren limousine with two smiling girls (of course in HH car there would be more girls and less desks) directing people to big dark room with a male moustached assistant (little disconcerting when you are a woman and you remember that you have to get half-naked for the procedure; males of course do not mind showing off their buddha tummies left right and centre but the weaker sex is much more sensitive...). i was relieved to find out a loose flowery apron one must put on for an x-ray, nice human touch in this cold hospital environment....
the rest of my trip to SD was all pleasure, chirimoyas and cheesecakes - that sums it up.
please, stick to the subject (migracion adventures) and do not make it personal, anyone complaining about my complains - pm me.
Maybe.....
they just loved your British sense of humor and wanted to hear you talk.
When I went it was a simple blood and urine test, no questions at all that I remember (excluding name, show my passport, etc), in and out in a couple minutes. Then they handed me the map of where the "clinic" was located, again, in and out in a couple minutes. No bruises or any pain the next day from the blood letting.
Don - SantiagoDR
they just loved your British sense of humor and wanted to hear you talk.
When I went it was a simple blood and urine test, no questions at all that I remember (excluding name, show my passport, etc), in and out in a couple minutes. Then they handed me the map of where the "clinic" was located, again, in and out in a couple minutes. No bruises or any pain the next day from the blood letting.
Don - SantiagoDR
update
i go, like, to SD to pick up my cedula and there is no plastic, right?
it's so not hot.
and now my abogado tells me my cedula is ready. but i have to PAY 1.200 pesos to pick it up.
as my friend says: it makes my hands and tits drop.
THEY (you know who THEY are) conspire against me, they plot how to rob me off my money.
now not only average dominicans but also the government is convinced all gringos have lots of money. they must have found out about my jeepeta :ermm:
now all my assets safely packed up on numerous accounts in switzerland and bahamas are in danger...:tired:
will be going to SD soon so expect more drama...
i go, like, to SD to pick up my cedula and there is no plastic, right?
it's so not hot.
and now my abogado tells me my cedula is ready. but i have to PAY 1.200 pesos to pick it up.
as my friend says: it makes my hands and tits drop.
THEY (you know who THEY are) conspire against me, they plot how to rob me off my money.
now not only average dominicans but also the government is convinced all gringos have lots of money. they must have found out about my jeepeta :ermm:
now all my assets safely packed up on numerous accounts in switzerland and bahamas are in danger...:tired:
will be going to SD soon so expect more drama...
happy ending
my cedula epic would not be finished without its hollywood style happy ending.
i called my abogado who assured me my cedula is printed and i can come to pick it up anytime. and pay 1.200 pesos. got little upset, as you imagine.
since from monday i start a new job i have decided to travel to SD on friday (yesterday).
trip was bad as usual, minovio has gotten me new motion sickness pills: "not that stong and better for you", yeah, right! "not that strong" sure proved to be truth so in santiago i asked to be transferred to the seat next to the driver in the front of the bus. i understand this is not exactly allowed but i can tell you, no one has ever said NO to me in any means of transport...
fast forward to SD: my lawyer had to go to another department in a different easily combustible building so i strolled to the extranjeros dept alone. same layout as last time, same fat ladies, lot less sweaty gringos. lady at the desk 1 took my paper cedula from me and pointed at the lady sitting next to cedula machine in the corner shouting "IMPRIMIR!"
now, dont get me wrong, i did go to SD only because i was told my cedula is already printed! and now this! but alas, this time plastic was available, cedula was duly printed and was was shown the door less than two minutes after i entered the office.
have you noticed the surprise? NO PAYMENT REQUIRED!
admitedly at the cedula picture i look like a vicious maniac knocking ice-creams out off the children's hands but nonetheless - i am now legal.
1.200 pesos saved on cedula was spent in la cuchara de madera (they now charge whooping 145 pesos per cheesecake slice) and on a dress in plaza lama. i must have embarrased poor chiri getting very excited in LCDM..... we then procceded to have lunch at chiri's place (beans with PUMPKIN - yes, i was rather suspicious but god was it nice! followed by postre from the usual shop).
bearing in my my problems on a way to SD i knocked myself out with some more motion sickness pills plus pain killers (every time i go to SD i end up with mild migraine, must be temperature and pressure) so travel home was a bliss. To my big surprise metro now extended the service to sosua/canarete, four times a day.
see - no complaining.
out of curiosity, on cedula my piel is labeled as B (blanco), what other option there are? is there an M, as in moreno?
my cedula epic would not be finished without its hollywood style happy ending.
i called my abogado who assured me my cedula is printed and i can come to pick it up anytime. and pay 1.200 pesos. got little upset, as you imagine.
since from monday i start a new job i have decided to travel to SD on friday (yesterday).
trip was bad as usual, minovio has gotten me new motion sickness pills: "not that stong and better for you", yeah, right! "not that strong" sure proved to be truth so in santiago i asked to be transferred to the seat next to the driver in the front of the bus. i understand this is not exactly allowed but i can tell you, no one has ever said NO to me in any means of transport...
fast forward to SD: my lawyer had to go to another department in a different easily combustible building so i strolled to the extranjeros dept alone. same layout as last time, same fat ladies, lot less sweaty gringos. lady at the desk 1 took my paper cedula from me and pointed at the lady sitting next to cedula machine in the corner shouting "IMPRIMIR!"
now, dont get me wrong, i did go to SD only because i was told my cedula is already printed! and now this! but alas, this time plastic was available, cedula was duly printed and was was shown the door less than two minutes after i entered the office.
have you noticed the surprise? NO PAYMENT REQUIRED!
admitedly at the cedula picture i look like a vicious maniac knocking ice-creams out off the children's hands but nonetheless - i am now legal.
1.200 pesos saved on cedula was spent in la cuchara de madera (they now charge whooping 145 pesos per cheesecake slice) and on a dress in plaza lama. i must have embarrased poor chiri getting very excited in LCDM..... we then procceded to have lunch at chiri's place (beans with PUMPKIN - yes, i was rather suspicious but god was it nice! followed by postre from the usual shop).
bearing in my my problems on a way to SD i knocked myself out with some more motion sickness pills plus pain killers (every time i go to SD i end up with mild migraine, must be temperature and pressure) so travel home was a bliss. To my big surprise metro now extended the service to sosua/canarete, four times a day.
see - no complaining.
out of curiosity, on cedula my piel is labeled as B (blanco), what other option there are? is there an M, as in moreno?
Now I know why you didn't show me the prized c?dula!dv8 said:
Embarrassed, me? I was too busy drooling to notice any strange behaviour from your direction. Not to mention keeping track of a rampaging Chirimoyito - a bull in a china shop is nothing on a six-year old in a cake shop.
It was nice, wasn't it! Not quite pumpkin, but auyama, which Pib translates as "gem squash". I've made crema de auyama (soup) for tonight.
Pumpkin is calabaza, and not found here apart from at Halloween when some places import it.
As well as B, you can be I (Indio) or N (Negro).
Not sure how they classify East Asians.:chinese:
cabinet of curiosities
ok, i only do private viewings so please, submit an application form along with a cheque for 50 US dollars (i recon i must be worth as much as ballenas, yes?). the show includes a presentation of a purple cat butt.
fee is non refundable.
ok, i only do private viewings so please, submit an application form along with a cheque for 50 US dollars (i recon i must be worth as much as ballenas, yes?). the show includes a presentation of a purple cat butt.
fee is non refundable.
the show includes a presentation of a purple cat butt.
fee is non refundable.
And a comparative selection of amoeba medicine & travel pills with dv8 doing a Cher impersonation 'I was born in the wagon of a travellin' show, my mama used to dance for the money they'd throw...............'? :cheeky: It has every possibility of being THE new nightly Puerto Plata attraction. Remember to pay your ITBIS & get your NCF.................
I am in Memphis and thinking of moving to DR with my fiancee who is moving from France. I don't understand the visa process. Do you have to have a host guarantor to get visa to move there? How long did it take to get the cedula?
Miguel...get A Life....in Dom Much Frustration Due To Layback Attitude Of Goverment Staff,they All Want There Cut Of Dineros!!i Know Situation As My Fiancee Dominican And I Speak Out Against System Not Matter Who!!!time Comming For Change Where Men Treat Woman As Second Class Citizen As You Will See,future Bright For Woman Of Dom..
Dv8
I did not open this Thread till today..I kept passing it by..Then I see everyone took a shot here so now I will.
The comment THIS COUNTRY SUCKS.! Well the Americans have a saying.
AMERICA LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT Fill in Dominican Republic where it says AMERICA.
I don't any humor in that comment at all..Whatever nationality they are.Period
I have spent the last 3 years preparing and researching to build a home here and live in Peace..I guess this is why I chose the SW part of the country.
It sounds like this thread should be in the Clown Bin aftrer reading the replys.
I don't know Dv8 but the poster sure has alot of posts for someone who has not been a member for even 6 months yet..
I am posting on my own without reguard to any comments made by other members..Those of you who know me know I do not get involved in personal disagreements unless I take offense to it..
This country Sucks was offensive to me.. I have all my ducks lined up in a row.Have a cedula,residency,license,and am doing everything by Dominican Law because I respect this country...If you do not then after you spend all your money here you are free to GO.!!!!
OK now I feel better ...Someone please close this thread...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did not open this Thread till today..I kept passing it by..Then I see everyone took a shot here so now I will.
The comment THIS COUNTRY SUCKS.! Well the Americans have a saying.
AMERICA LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT Fill in Dominican Republic where it says AMERICA.
I don't any humor in that comment at all..Whatever nationality they are.Period
I have spent the last 3 years preparing and researching to build a home here and live in Peace..I guess this is why I chose the SW part of the country.
It sounds like this thread should be in the Clown Bin aftrer reading the replys.
I don't know Dv8 but the poster sure has alot of posts for someone who has not been a member for even 6 months yet..
I am posting on my own without reguard to any comments made by other members..Those of you who know me know I do not get involved in personal disagreements unless I take offense to it..
This country Sucks was offensive to me.. I have all my ducks lined up in a row.Have a cedula,residency,license,and am doing everything by Dominican Law because I respect this country...If you do not then after you spend all your money here you are free to GO.!!!!
OK now I feel better ...Someone please close this thread...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Glad you're feeling better. People are generally having a little fun. There is no need to close this thread.
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this country sucks
and i will say it million times, just like i said about poland and england before. no place is perfect, even heaven will be somehow crappy for the devil....
i know americans are a bit touchy on the subjects of the motherland but i come from the country more than 1000 years old and, no offence meant - my folks ain't patriotic no morearanoid:
poland - DR is a difficult transitions although funnily enough i find many things those coutries have in common since i still remember the times of communism and although i have fattened up on luxururies of the civilisation i know what it means NOT TO HAVE.
i can't believe someone can live here and not get pi$$ed off at times...:dead:
i do - a lot. but - most of days i don't mind and i don't care.
as to the number of posts, hell, i talk a lot! :cheeky:
ps zak, i don't mind. glad i made you angry - just proves my point - this country is not quite a paradise with people like me!
and i will say it million times, just like i said about poland and england before. no place is perfect, even heaven will be somehow crappy for the devil....
i know americans are a bit touchy on the subjects of the motherland but i come from the country more than 1000 years old and, no offence meant - my folks ain't patriotic no more
aranoid: poland - DR is a difficult transitions although funnily enough i find many things those coutries have in common since i still remember the times of communism and although i have fattened up on luxururies of the civilisation i know what it means NOT TO HAVE.
i can't believe someone can live here and not get pi$$ed off at times...:dead:
i do - a lot. but - most of days i don't mind and i don't care.
as to the number of posts, hell, i talk a lot! :cheeky:
ps zak, i don't mind. glad i made you angry - just proves my point - this country is not quite a paradise with people like me!