I found This Hard to Believe

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nanita

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Jul 28, 2014
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One Simple Question. Is it not possible for a rich white guy from the States to have a successful relationship with a poor resort worker?
I mean, probably not. Maybe if it was an American who has lived there for many years and who knows the game, with a resort worker who was compatible in looks, age, interests, etc. My friend, I do not think you have an adequate set of third world survival skills. Love and relationships work differently in the lower classes of the DR. Most Dominican women who fit your GF's description enjoy serial relationships with low IQ tigueres. They like attractive young men with good bodies who have a motorcycle. These men generally stay with the women for a time and may impregnate them. After a time, and the requisite drama which can certainly turn violent on both sides, both parties move on to new partners. Rinse and repeat.

You have nothing to offer this woman but money, nothing. Do you have a 6 pack? A noisy motorcycle? The same circle of friends? Interests? Taste in music? Are you a good bachata dancer? No. And this matters because these are things that lower class Dominican women like. But you have money that for her is a fortune and she doesn't WANT to learn about art and history. She wants to get her nails and hair done, feed her kids, a new phone, a pasola. She wants what people in her world want. Since they live in a country with essentially no opportunities YOU are an opportunity and these ladies DO know how to extract money from people like you - they have very good third world survival skills!

I don't think you can Eliza Doolittle a lower class Dominican woman, they don't want to be 'elevated', they want some money and I don't blame them. Prepare to be fleeced at best. At worst, things can turn very, very dark. VERY dark. Honestly. People in your position certainly have and will continue to be murdered by their partners or their partners friends, boyfriends and relatives. Really. Don't believe me? Keep reading.

To sum up: you don't understand the culture and you are in over your head. I suggest doing some volunteer work or joining the Peace Corps if you want a 'cultural adventure'.

Finally, my guess is that her 'cousin' is her BF - it really is the oldest trick in the book and why would she be single? There's nothing to do in the DR for people from her socioeconomic situation, I mean, it's boring and they are pretty much all in relationships from my observations anyway. Her BF may even know all about YOU.
 

Yourmaninvegas

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Feb 16, 2016
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The best relationships are based on mutual respect. That is achievable. But it is also not traditional in the manner many perceive relationships in from places outside of the 🇩🇴 .
 

johne

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Jun 28, 2003
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people in your position certainly have and will continue to be murdered by their partners or their partners friends, boyfriends and relatives. Really.
^^^^^^yes. and I might add:
Including, neighbors, strangers, local wackos, any and all people that need to get thru another day in their very miserable life with the money of "rich, white people". OP, after 222 posts I just can't wrap my arms around you thinking that being a "rich, white" man is an asset that will set you apart from all other men in the DR. It's not. It is a liability that will come to bite you in your big, white, rich asx.
 

Yourmaninvegas

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Feb 16, 2016
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I mean, probably not. Maybe if it was an American who has lived there for many years and who knows the game, with a resort worker who was compatible in looks, age, interests, etc. (personal insult deleted) Love and relationships work differently in the lower classes of the DR. Most Dominican women who fit your GF's description enjoy serial relationships with low IQ tigueres. They like attractive young men with good bodies who have a motorcycle. These men generally stay with the women for a time and may impregnate them. After a time, and the requisite drama which can certainly turn violent on both sides, both parties move on to new partners. Rinse and repeat.

Finally, my guess is that her 'cousin' is her BF - it really is the oldest trick in the book and why would she be single? There's nothing to do in the DR for people from her socioeconomic situation, I mean, it's boring and they are pretty much all in relationships from my observations anyway. Her BF may even know all about YOU.
Real talk‼️

But if the OP is not looking for a traditional relationship. Mutual respect and chemistry if it exists could serve him well. Seem like he is going to wind up in a divorce if he pursues his current romantic interest. No real need to limit himself. 6 romantic interests (one for each night) and a night of rest may in fact service his needs way better than a traditional western relationship anyway.

people in your position certainly have and will continue to be murdered by their partners or their partners friends, boyfriends and relatives. Really.

Including, neighbors, strangers, local wackos, any and all people that need to get thru another day in their very miserable life with the money of "rich, white people".
Real talk‼️

That is why you set up your security bubble. You do not descend into their world. You stay in yours. Inside of your security bubble where guests need to be announced. Randoms are kept outside of your inner circle. There are places to go when you need to do that but you want privacy.
 
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RDKNIGHT

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Mar 13, 2017
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people in your position certainly have and will continue to be murdered by their partners or their partners friends, boyfriends and relatives. Really.
^^^^^^yes. and I might add:
Including, neighbors, strangers, local wackos, any and all people that need to get thru another day in their very miserable life with the money of "rich, white people". OP, after 222 posts I just can't wrap my arms around you thinking that being a "rich, white" man is an asset that will set you apart from all other men in the DR. It's not. It is a liability that will come to bite you in your big, white, rich asx.
your 100 percent right
 

RDKNIGHT

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Mar 13, 2017
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One Simple Question. Is it not possible for a rich white guy from the States to have a successful relationship with a poor resort worker?
sure it's possible but I'm 99.999 sure you will be taken to the cleaners I am being honest with you ,,
 

johne

Silver
Jun 28, 2003
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What immediately came to mind in post #224 was the 80 y.o. Italian in last week's DR1news
 

Yourmaninvegas

Well-known member
Feb 16, 2016
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When you are new to the 🇩🇴 that is when you are the most vulnerable.
No matter how much advice is given here...the devil is in the execution.
Read all you want about how to hit a 95 mph fastball.
Get in the batters box and getting a look at it for yourself...different story.

I suggest that the OP does not sit in a place where he is unhappy.
Go to the situation that treats you best.
The biggest advantage to being in the 🇩🇴 is that you have options.
Many of which may or not exist in your preferred form in the countries of origin of the individuals that visit/live here.
Go where you are treated best‼️
 
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AlterEgo

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Jan 9, 2009
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Her BF may even know all about YOU.
Great post. The last line got me, it’s so true. Foreigners can’t grasp the truth in that sentence. There’s a young woman who lives near us in the campo. Married, has kids. Her husband (legal, I don’t know) has known for years that she ”worked” in Sosua. Actually, everyone in campo knew. She met a Canadian on one occasion, and she became his girlfriend. He sent $$$ regularly, and once or twice a year he’d take her to an AI resort for a week or two While hubby stayed home with kids, happily living off the Canadian’s money. Of course, when Canadian was in Canada, she still “worked”. I don’t remember how or who, but someone finally told the Canadian the truth about his princess, and that was the end of the gravy train.
 

Nadie21

Active member
Jun 3, 2021
281
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Santa Clarita
Thank you Mr Webster.

If she tells me she has not seen a boat I believe her... I know her living conditions and life style. It's poverty and deprivation.. And to be honest it breaks my heart. Furthermore she hasn't any reason not to be honest with me.
I want to expand her horizons if possible. It would be so exciting to see her reactions to get her on a boat or a plane etc. Things that she has never experienced and has no concept as to what the experience would be like. Like a kid in the candy store.

Bill, If I may call you that, I am in love with this woman on several levels. I am not a fool. I understand that she wants things that she never had and probably is never going to have and that I am a conduit for her. But she is also a good hard working woman and she has a moral compass. Yes, there are hiccups in our communication...words mean one thing in English and something else in Spanish and vice versa. Yes, there are major differences in cultures.... She has no clue about my culture, while I have immersed myself in hers

But there is a very strong emotional connection that has been formed over the past year. A day never passes that we do not communicate. Even if it is only to say goodnight.

I understand the cynicism by many on this board. Yes, they have lived in the DR and I am just a naïve gringo. An old, well to do married man and an indigent 34 YO DR unmarried mother of 2.
But they do not see the nature of our daily communications, nor can they see the desolation and loneliness in her eyes like I do... or the tears of unhappiness that we have shed together.. Or the undying commitment that we have to each other.
You are not being smart.
 

Yourmaninvegas

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Feb 16, 2016
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Dominicans originated 🇩🇴 game.
Play at your own risk.
Married, has kids. Her husband (legal, I don’t know) has known for years that she ”worked” in Sosua. Actually, everyone in campo knew. She met a Canadian on one occasion, and she became his girlfriend. He sent $$$ regularly, and once or twice a year he’d take her to an AI resort for a week or two While hubby stayed home with kids, happily living off the Canadian’s money.
This is what I call going hard in the paint.
Of course, when Canadian was in Canada, she still “worked”. I don’t remember how or who, but someone finally told the Canadian the truth about his princess, and that was the end of the gravy train.
That particular one only. 🚂💰
Who knows how many she actually had...

Things that I have heard personally:

"I have an American boyfriend. But he only visits every three or four months. I can see you when he is not here."

"I have a boyfriend but he lives in another city. Besides I am looking to upgrade."

"I live with my boyfriend, but he travels a lot. I can see you when he is not here".
 
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SKY

Gold
Apr 11, 2004
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Great post. The last line got me, it’s so true. Foreigners can’t grasp the truth in that sentence. There’s a young woman who lives near us in the campo. Married, has kids. Her husband (legal, I don’t know) has known for years that she ”worked” in Sosua. Actually, everyone in campo knew. She met a Canadian on one occasion, and she became his girlfriend. He sent $$$ regularly, and once or twice a year he’d take her to an AI resort for a week or two While hubby stayed home with kids, happily living off the Canadian’s money. Of course, when Canadian was in Canada, she still “worked”. I don’t remember how or who, but someone finally told the Canadian the truth about his princess, and that was the end of the gravy train.
Correct, but nothing new to anyone living here any length of time. The biggest scam is most always the "Primo" they live with. Convenient on both ends....................
 
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Nadie21

Active member
Jun 3, 2021
281
154
43
Santa Clarita
Thank you Mr Webster.

If she tells me she has not seen a boat I believe her... I know her living conditions and life style. It's poverty and deprivation.. And to be honest it breaks my heart. Furthermore she hasn't any reason not to be honest with me.
I want to expand her horizons if possible. It would be so exciting to see her reactions to get her on a boat or a plane etc. Things that she has never experienced and has no concept as to what the experience would be like. Like a kid in the candy store.

Bill, If I may call you that, I am in love with this woman on several levels. I am not a fool. I understand that she wants things that she never had and probably is never going to have and that I am a conduit for her. But she is also a good hard working woman and she has a moral compass. Yes, there are hiccups in our communication...words mean one thing in English and something else in Spanish and vice versa. Yes, there are major differences in cultures.... She has no clue about my culture, while I have immersed myself in hers

But there is a very strong emotional connection that has been formed over the past year. A day never passes that we do not communicate. Even if it is only to say goodnight.

I understand the cynicism by many on this board. Yes, they have lived in the DR and I am just a naïve gringo. An old, well to do married man and an indigent 34 YO DR unmarried mother of 2.
But they do not see the nature of our daily communications, nor can they see the desolation and loneliness in her eyes like I do... or the tears of unhappiness that we have shed together.. Or the undying commitment that we have to each other.
I met an intern once at cbs TV in Manhattan, she had never been out of Manhattan in her life.
May I ask how will you get away for a month? I assume wife #1 knows nothing.Secondly...are you not in favor of unconditional love with love#2?
And third: How are you taking her out of poverty (since you are not willing to live in a tin roof schack in the campo)?. Good intentions Ken but I guess we all would want to hear more of the plan or "the big picture". Fire away.
Ken..For goodness sake.. GET A GRIP. You sound like you are in a very very bad place. It is beginning to smell like a fish.
 

AlterEgo

Administrator
Staff member
Jan 9, 2009
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Correct, but nothing new to anyone living here any length of time. The biggest scam is most always the "Primo" they live with. Convenient on both ends....................
Or brother. Goes back to what I said a few days ago about the entire family being on board.
 
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SKY

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Apr 11, 2004
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Or brother. Goes back to what I said a few days ago about the entire family being on board.
The family has to make do with the "assets" they have. A young good looking girl is one of them...........
 
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